I've occasionally lulled myself asleep to the timeless tune of "Ain't Never Goin' Bald". It's an old lullaby, and I vaguely remember the story of Dad singing it for my three older brothers. Supposedly, their hair would begin to buzz as they'd drift off, making a noise like a soft "zzzz..." Grandpa apparently sang the lullaby for Dad, and even Great Grandpa must've been fond of the tune. I figure, "It worked for them, it'll work for me!" Right? So far, so good - for me, at least.
Upon hearing the devastating news that my two eldest brothers have lost more than just a few irreplaceable hairs, I have resolved to be more religious in two important ways. One, I won't live a similarly stressful, adventurous life - fertile grounds for baldness. Secondly, I will teach the far-reaching traditional folk-tune to my wife and daughter so as to have a doubly hearty, harmonious rendition, giving it twice the hair-restoring power.
As for the other brother, he seems to have found an effective, healthy alternative to the tune of the follicle-stress relieving activity of blogging. Needless to say, his Incongruous Circumspection blog has proven therapeutic, although it unfortunately leads to periodic bouts of 'hair yanking'. But, nonetheless, that serves only as a convenient and necessary counterbalance to his abundant hair restoring alternative.
With all due respect, I would never stoop to such an alternative as blogging, as I am convinced that I've held to a better ritual. Mystical? Admittedly so. But, there's no shame in a good lullaby, no matter how magical it's become. So let the jealous accusations fly while I ensure my hair is being sung spry!
No potions needed here. Just my stress-free, unadventurous life along with the trusty, generational, passed-onto-the-youngest-child... family-sung folk-tune... rendition of the "Ain't Goin' Bald" lullaby. And please everyone, keep the flabbergasted compliments to a minimum; I might get too big of a head - of hair!
And, if you don't mind, I need to sing right now - with my wife and daughter, of course.
"Ain't never goin' bald... ain't never goin' bald......
This mystery unsolved... yet, to it I'm lulled......
I'll keep all my hair, I'll keep all my hair...
'Cause it's only fair, to every one there...
Ain't never.. goin'... ba...... zz... zzz.. zzzzzzz......"
LOL! I'm crushed. I don't have that childhood memory. Not sure why. It must be the only one.
ReplyDeleteShh! Sleeping.
ReplyDeleteI'm going bald???? Why not come to me in private and let me know before telling the world??? I am crushed and ashamed.
ReplyDeleteThe 'S' made that mistake first. Her bad.
ReplyDelete